The BW/WW thing is just to separate uslike they use color and anythingelse they can. Good article.

crammasters says...
To Kato: I agree with much of what u have said. In saying that, I would not deal with a BW who told ME that I had to compete with a WM to get her attention, so I don't play that game with the sisters. That is part of our problem, using the club of non-blacks to beat each other over the head. Serves no purpose but to drive us apart.

I doubt many brothers would go for that comparison, no doubt, so we BM need to stop "exploring" our "options" and start focusing on the bigger picture, and that is HOW we -- as a race, as BM and BW -- are going to survive the times that are coming so our children will be able to prosper.

With all the IR dating we're doing, look at our condition. What have we gained? Nothing. What do we control? Nothing. Who has the biggest unemployment rate in the nation (including illegal immigrants)? Black men

For me, UNITY between the BM and BW is the most important thing we should be focused on..

or many of us BM will wind up being single 50 year old homeless men with no relationships with our kids OR our black women, and no place or country to call our own....

It's time to deal with our OWN truth, brother...no disrespect intended....

Brother, I hear you, and agree that we are both to blame for the destruction of our relationships (to a degree). Of course, BW are victims, just like BM are victims of a white supremacy system.

BW do not control who gets the jobs, or how much they are paid, the white elite control all that. The white elite are pitting the BM against the BW (divide and conquer), and we are like two people fighting over the crumbs that get thrown to the floor, and neither one looks above their heads to see who has the entire loaf. Do not fall for the tricks, brother

We must be careful NOT to stereotype each other. A lot of single professional BW are not getting knocked up by "Pookies." In fact, most are being told that their standards are too high, not too low. They are told to deal with any available BM they can find - which makes no sense if you are not compatible.

There is a certain reality, when a BM or BW goes to the trouble to educate themselves, to have goals, to accomplish certain things, that means they have made SACRIFICES and to be equally or compatibly joined, their mate should have similar views, and experiences -- otherwise it's a mismatch and will not last

One thing that can't be overlooked is there are over more BW between the ages of 20 and 60 than BM. So, this means some BW will have a harder time finding mates, even if they are doing everything right to "market" themselves.

Also, if a BM wants an honorable woman he must stop trying to coerce "free milk" from every baby cow he encounters so young females won't grow up thinking the way to a man's heart is through the bedroom..

I'd like to share a link I found interesting:

http://www.hartford-hwp.com/archives/45a/196.html

crammasters says...
I think both black women and black men are equally to blame for the destruction of the institue of marriage in our community. Single black people would rather cohabitate with each other because a man can get all of the benefits of being married without any of the legal obligations, or financial burdens of having to buy his girlfriend an engagement ring or help her pay for a formal wedding.Black women are not victims because they control 75% of all of the wealth and 100% of the p$$$y in our communities. . Furthermore, it is much easier for sistah to land a job in corporate America that plays a living wage because they are more educated than black men. If a sister wants to get a husband, she should raise her dating standards and stop letting Pookie shack up with her and pump her belly full of babies and then dump her and the kids because he can't deal with the financial pressures of providing for his girlfriend and their kids. A man will not buy the cow if he can get the milk for free. 42% of professional black women are single does not mean that they are celibate.

I'd like to add one thing that may be overlooked. The black female -- who, despite tremendous obstacles, despite sexism, racism AND colorism, has excelled in every field and has often been the "first" woman in so many categories before the white female, that it is NOW necessary to cut her down to a smaller size.

What's the most likely spot the media uses to demoralize (all) females?

By making it appear that they are undesirable as women. What is the "proof" that a woman is desirable as a woman?

A wedding ring on her finger. It doesn't matter if she's happy, or is marrying a man who is compatible; all that matters is some man has validated her worth as a desirable female.

By making it appear (or creating social/economic conditions) that the professional, educated BW cannot get a man, all her other qualities and accomplishments are automatically NEGATED.

I don't fall for the hype, my wife is a BW, and no other is more desirable to me. In other words, there is NOTHING the white media can say about BW that I accept as truth.

Do not trust the same ones who have been assassinating your image to tell you a damn thing about who you are. And there are BM who also peep the mind games that are being played, because we are also fighting our own mental warfare with the system.

Always, my beautiful black sisters, always, always consider the source
before you embrace the message...

I'd like to add one thing that may be overlooked. The black female -- who, despite tremendous obstacles, despite sexism, racism AND colorism, has excelled in every field and has often been the "first" woman in so many categories before the white female, that it is NOW necessary to cut her down to a smaller size.

What's the most likely spot the media uses to demoralize (all) females?

By making it appear that they are undesirable as women. What is the "proof" that a woman is desirable as a woman?

A wedding ring on her finger. It doesn't matter if she's happy, or is marrying a man who is compatible; all that matters is some man has validated her worth as a desirable female.

By making it appear (or creating social/economic conditions) that the professional, educated BW cannot get a man, all her other qualities and accomplishments are automatically NEGATED.

I don't fall for the hype, my wife is a BW, and no other is more desirable to me. In other words, there is NOTHING the white media can say about BW that I accept as truth.

Do not trust the same ones who have been assassinating your image to tell you a damn thing about who you are. And there are BM who also peep the mind games that are being played, because we are also fighting our own mental warfare with the system.

Always, my beautiful black sisters, always, always consider the source
before you embrace the message...

To Kato: I agree with much of what u have said. In saying that, I would not deal with a BW who told ME that I had to compete with a WM to get her attention, so I don't play that game with the sisters. That is part of our problem, using the club of non-blacks to beat each other over the head. Serves no purpose but to drive us apart.

I doubt many brothers would go for that comparison, no doubt, so we BM need to stop "exploring" our "options" and start focusing on the bigger picture, and that is HOW we -- as a race, as BM and BW -- are going to survive the times that are coming so our children will be able to prosper.

With all the IR dating we're doing, look at our condition. What have we gained? Nothing. What do we control? Nothing. Who has the biggest unemployment rate in the nation (including illegal immigrants)? Black men

For me, UNITY between the BM and BW is the most important thing we should be focused on..

or many of us BM will wind up being single 50 year old homeless men with no relationships with our kids OR our black women, and no place or country to call our own....

It's time to deal with our OWN truth, brother...no disrespect intended....

I think the reason that so many black women are single is because they have been brain washed by the white media into believing that there are on good single black man available for them to date, which is crock of BS, In addition, too many of our single sisters have been raised in single female headed house holds and they did not have a positive male role model in their lives to teach them how to communicate with with and understand a mans chemistry. Futuremore, a lot of professional sisters are single because they don't realize that dating is very similar to sales and you have to know how to market yourself and be willing to compete with non African American women for dates or you will end up being a 50 year old single old maid with no children 60lbs overweight with a house full of cats. At first the truth hurts, but then it heals..

When a guy I knew was down he decided to date BW. I think many BW are single because they, like me aren't going to sponsor a BM that has always gone with WW but when they need financial help they turn to a BW. I'd rather stay single like I have been since my husband died years ago than to have a WW's leftovers. And he was older than me and stupid enough to have a 10 year old mixed daughter. i wasn't putting myself through that DRAMA to say I had a man. He had nothing to offer me but many headaches. Who knows how his credit or health was? Many times BW go for this and set themselves up to be used because they're desperate. Start a home business, write a book, go to school, DO SOMETHING CONSTRUCTIVE! AS FAR AS dating WM, they ain't got nothing on a brother! Not to me anyway!

correction

I meant "Even BM (not BW) have backed off Halle after Monster's Ball and her white lover made the news."

Dex says...
Interracial dating is not the solution to the black female marriage problem. There are plenty of professional sistah's who are dating outside of their race. For example, Eve, Hallie Berry, Janet Jackson, Beverly Johnson, Trya Banks, Gayle King, Traci Ross, LiL Kim, etc...However, the white guys that they date do not seem to be willing to marry them. Can you name one rich and famous A- List white actor who is under the age of 40 who is married or dating a black woman? Can you name me one rich and famous A-List white female American born actress who is dating a black guy? Case closed.

for the record, I"m against IR for BM and BW. Of course, IR is NO solution to ANYTHING. A lot of BW are dating outside their race because WE ARE. What do we expect them to do, brother? If you can't beat them (white ice being colder in some BM's minds) then you JOIN them.

I agree with your post in general but in Halle's case, I believe she's the one who doesn't want to get married (she said so after her divorce from Eric Benet). Also she has the most to lose in a divorce.

You are right, our so-called A list black folks can't wait to get a white partner, but you won't find A-list whites going black, Yeah, there are exceptions, but that's not the rule. One reason is their white audiences don't play that. Let Tom Cruise or Jennifer Aniston refuse to date anyone white and their careers would be OVER

Even BW have backed off Halle after Monster's Ball and her white lover made the news. BW apparently are the only ones who don't get it and will put these celebrity negro males on a pedestal and be the MAIN ONES supporting them, while these black males wouldn't look at them twice -- or once.

WW don't play that, they might excuse a few WM for crossing over but they wouldn't tolerate it the way BW tolerate it. I think it's about self-respect and the expectations of BW is such that they are so used to being degraded they don't recognize it when it's happening or have become numb to it.

Of course, I'm not saying all BW, but let's get real. The list is long of BM who DON"T date BW, but are still sex symbols for BW, and are these BM entertainers' biggest fans. Sisters need to wake up and stop supporting these sell-outs. That's my opinion...

Dex says...
Interracial dating is not the solution to the black female marriage problem. There are plenty of professional sistah's who are dating outside of their race. For example, Eve, Hallie Berry, Janet Jackson, Beverly Johnson, Trya Banks, Gayle King, Traci Ross, LiL Kim, etc...However, the white guys that they date do not seem to be willing to marry them. Can you name one rich and famous A- List white actor who is under the age of 40 who is married or dating a black woman? Can you name me one rich and famous A-List white female American born actress who is dating a black guy? Case closed.

for the record, I"m against IR for BM and BW. Of course, IR is NO solution to ANYTHING. A lot of BW are dating outside their race because WE ARE. What do we expect them to do, brother? If you can't beat them (white ice being colder in some BM's minds) then you JOIN them.

I agree with your post in general but in Halle's case, I believe she's the one who doesn't want to get married (she said so after her divorce from Eric Benet). Also she has the most to lose in a divorce.

You are right, our so-called A list black folks can't wait to get a white partner, but you won't find A-list whites going black, Yeah, there are exceptions, but that's not the rule. One reason is their white audiences don't play that. Let Tom Cruise or Jennifer Aniston refuse to date anyone white and their careers would be OVER

Even BW have backed off Halle after Monster's Ball and her white lover made the news. BW apparently are the only ones who don't get it and will put these celebrity negro males on a pedestal and be the MAIN ONES supporting them, while these black males wouldn't look at them twice -- or once.

WW don't play that, they might excuse a few WM for crossing over but they wouldn't tolerate it the way BW tolerate it. I think it's about self-respect and the expectations of BW is such that they are so used to being degraded they don't recognize it when it's happening or have become numb to it.

Of course, I'm not saying all BW, but let's get real. The list is long of BM who DON"T date BW, but are still sex symbols for BW, and are these BM entertainers' biggest fans. Sisters need to wake up and stop supporting these sell-outs. That's my opinion...

Interracial dating is not the solution to the black female marriage problem. There are plenty of professional sistah's who are dating outside of their race. For example, Eve, Hallie Berry, Janet Jackson, Beverly Johnson, Trya Banks, Gayle King, Traci Ross, LiL Kim, etc...However, the white guys that they date do not seem to be willing to marry them. Can you name one rich and famous A- List white actor who is under the age of 40 who is married or dating a black woman? Can you name me one rich and famous A-List white female American born actress who is dating a black guy? Case closed.

Josh Wickett says...
Does black people have a DEFINITION of marriage?

Do Black males and females have a CLEAR definition (words) to describe (in their own minds) what they are trying to do?

If two people are trying to complete a project and each has a different definition of the project, is it possible they will work agaist each other?

that is such a good question, it almost answers itself

to the first question, I'd say no
to the second, it would be yes, they couldn't help but work against each other

Does black people have a DEFINITION of marriage?

Do Black males and females have a CLEAR definition (words) to describe (in their own minds) what they are trying to do?

If two people are trying to complete a project and each has a different definition of the project, is it possible they will work agaist each other?

Interesting viewpoint, definitely worth hearing a thinking woman's perspective

shows how black folks are being manipulated by media and can't peep the game

However since 42% both black women and black men are single and it's black men who holds the keys to marry but are refusing to marry. Black women who want marriage, husbands homes and families need to take back their power and stop leaving their wishes and futures up to black men and start dating different races of men who are more marriage minded.

I agree with some of the things that you have stated like the white media's manipulations to make black women or black men look bad or good at their own discretion. With both black women and black men, it's as though the white media uses a quadruple edged sword. Even when black women are spotlighted for positive things like hard work, obtaining college degrees and climbing the corporate ladder These things are still considered on the masculine side and not what most other races of women are praised for like their beauty, desirablity etc.. When the white media calls itself spotlighting black men postively, it focuses on black men's dyck size, prowess in bed to the point it almost feminizes them into black whores and never having intelligent, education or being business thing s that men are rated on. So when the time comes when the white media wants to make black women and black men look bad it comments on how these harden, masculine black businesswomen can't get a man and how black men are nothing but ignorant pimps, players only existing off of women and criminal acts.

MATURE LANGUAGE !!